


Save Your First and Last for Me

by seonweonsonyeondan



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Light Angst, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2016-07-26
Packaged: 2018-07-26 20:28:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7588909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seonweonsonyeondan/pseuds/seonweonsonyeondan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyungsoo thought he had found his happily ever after in Chanyeol.<br/>But then the big oaf had to go and die.</p>
<p>Jongin has been drifting through life for the past 14 years.<br/>He thinks he's lost all hope for a second chance.<br/>But then he sees Kyungsoo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Save Your First and Last for Me

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the lovely exoficsanonymous and cross posted from AFF.
> 
> The prompt used is the soulmates AU where you see in black and white until you meet your soulmate and then you can see in color.

When Kyungsoo met Chanyeol, he finally saw the world as it was meant to be: in full color. The giant was everything Kyungsoo wasn’t, but from their first meeting, Chanyeol fit so effortlessly into his life, there was no question they were meant to be.

For 8 years, they were the color in each other's world.

But then the big oaf had to go and  _ die _ .

It wasn’t anything dramatic; one day Chanyeol was his normal clumsy, idiotic self and then the next he wasn’t. 

He started vomiting every morning. At first they joked maybe Soo had finally figured out a way to impregnate the giant, but when it didn’t stop after a few weeks and he started seeing double and not being able to maintain his balance, they knew something else was very wrong.

The doctor told them Chanyeol had a late stage tumor sitting pretty on his brain stem. They laid out options, discussed statistics, talked about risks, talked around the real issue: that Chanyeol didn’t have a good chance of surviving.

Okay, so looking back on it, it was a  _ bit  _ dramatic.

They did all the standard treatments: surgery, chemo (Kyungsoo mourned the loss of his giant eared husband’s eyebrows more than Chanyeol ever did), and radiation. 

For a while, he was doing well. He was responding to treatment. The tumor stopped growing. His morning sickness was replaced with weakness from all the drugs coursing through his blood. He still had trouble keeping upright, but the surgery seemed to have prevented any new growth or spreading.

He was still losing weight, but the doctor said that was normal. Same with the persistent pain in his side.

They all figured he was in remission.

Until, of course, they found more cancer in his kidneys.

From then on they both knew they were living on borrowed time. They tried to do as much together as they could, tried to go to the ocean as often as Chanyeol’s health allowed, tried to listen to as much music, tried to make love every moment they could.

Chanyeol’s condition evened out for about a week. They figured while he was still dying they were getting more time. So they organized a staycation; Kyungsoo cooked breakfast for every meal and they watched so much TV Chanyeol claimed he now understood why his mom was so against him watching it as a kid. They fell asleep in each other’s arms, Chanyeol’s ragged breaths barely registering to Kyungsoo now; it was almost like a lullaby, letting Kyungsoo know that Chanyeol was still there.

Kyungsoo will never forget the night it finally happened.

It was 2:13am when he was startled awake. He couldn’t see a thing, everything was black, pure, uninterrupted ink. But once his eyes adjusted, it hit him.

His world was in black and white.

He reached for Chanyeol and instead of the furnace that was his husband, his hands found clammy, cold flesh. It wasn’t Chanyeol anymore.

Kyungsoo doesn’t remember much after that point. He thinks he screamed. He’s pretty sure he cried. He knows he somehow made it to the hospital, somehow Chanyeol’s family was notified, somehow he made it through the next few days. And the next week and the next month.

He sold their condo. He didn’t need the memories. He moved into the city center on the promise that being surrounded by so many people will somehow ease the pain.

Instead he spent a good month or so lying sprawled on his floor until his friends forced their way in and dragged him to a grief support group specifically for people who had lost their soulmates young.

The first few meetings he was flanked by Baekhyun and Jongdae, sitting silently in the circle, listening to people talk about the struggle from not only losing the person who made life worth living, but also going back to living in black and white.

After a few weeks of he had the courage to show up alone. Both Baekhyun and Jongdae were busy (they admitted later they planned it that way) and he put on his big boy pants and went anyway. He was having a terrible week and everything seemed to remind him of his lack of a partner. 

A couple weeks later he finally gained the strength to share. He started talking with the other attendees and eventually had a couple of people who understood and empathized with his pain. They helped him find life again, even if it was a little more dull without his gangling husband with him. Every week they met up for drinks or food after, talking about everything from new coping mechanisms they learned to the latest episode of that one show everyone watches.

Which brings us to the present, 3 A.C. (After Chanyeol). Kyungsoo stands at a crosswalk, chatting with Yixing about nothing in particular while waiting for their turn to cross. It’s a Thursday, but this part of the city is always busy so the pair jostle about while people jockey for better positions.

“So, exactly  _ where _ are we going today? Kris wasn’t very forthcoming with details other than the address.”

“Mmm, I’m not sure. He mentioned it but I wasn’t really paying attention,” Yixing mutters, tapping furiously on his phone. Kyungsoo rolls his eyes; he’s used to Yixing’s inattention by now, but it was mostly because the older man had decided the best way for him to get over losing his soulmate at 35 was to dedicate himself to his work (“Daiyu and I never got around to having kids; our practice the closest I can feel to her now that she’s gone,” he told Kyungsoo when they first met).

Kyungsoo’s about to reprimand his friend when the light changes. The crowd around them forces them forward and a couple people push past him aggressively. He wants to make a passive aggressive comment but is interrupted by white noise in his ears and bright lights. He stumbles after Yixing, blinking. He realizes too late that he was seeing in color.

“Yixing! Yixing, wait!” Yixing’s almost halfway across the street, and, as expected, doesn’t hear Kyungsoo calling after him. The small male grumbles, pushing his way through the crowd, following Yixing’s bowed head. He’s finally close enough to grab onto his Chinese friend’s occupied hands. “Yixing, could you  _ slow down _ ?”

“Oh, Soo, I thought you were right behind me.” He has that look on his face--eyes adorably wide, lips slightly pursed--that tells Kyungsoo he really hadn’t noticed his friend’s absence. His eyes scan the shorter man quickly. “Are you okay? You look like you just saw a ghost--” Yixing’s eyes somehow widen more.

“Kyungsoo, did you actually see a ghost??”

“What? No! Not a ghost, but, uhm. Uh, I think I just saw in color for the first time since Yeol.” This causes Yixing to stop in his tracks, spinning to look at his friend.

“Seriously?! Holy shit, Soo. We need to tell Kris. Like, immediately.” Yixing grabs Kyungsoo’s hand and drags him through the crowd towards the subway.  “Kris is going to  _ freak out _ . You know he’s been going on and on about second soulmates.”

Kyungsoo clutches onto the rail in the subway car, listening to the sound of the subway moving through the tunnel. He’s not paying any attention to Yixing right now. All he can think about is those 30 seconds where he finally saw everything the way he had with Chanyeol. His heart tightens at the thought; could he really have a second chance? Does he really have another soulmate out there?

Not much longer and Kyungsoo sits at a tall table, dangling his legs from his stool as if he’s 12 and not approaching 32. Yixing is babbling over him, Kris staring intently while Baekhyun and Jongdae sipped on their beers. 

“...So second soulmates are real, right? Like, I’ve heard of them and obviously movies want us to believe that there’s only ever The One, but maybe there’s another person out there for Kyungsoo?” Jongdae asks with a hopeful look on his face.

“I mean, it’s not entirely out of the realm of possibility,” Kris starts slowly. “It's happened many times and since we're still young--”

“I'm not sure I believe it.”

Everyone turns their attention to Kyungsoo. He's staring at his hands, balled up; only Baekhyun and Jongdae could see the flush stretching from his neck to his cheeks clearly.

“Soo,” Baekhyun’s voice is soft, compassionate.

“I don't believe that second soulmates can exist when my supposed only one is dead and gone and  _ rotting _ \--”

“Soo!” It's Yixing who speaks up now, his full attention on the conversation. “You know that's bullshit. You said you saw color and felt something. You can't deny that being some sort of indication of a potential soulmate.”

“But you have to  _ see _ them to establish--”

“No one really knows for sure how triggering the soulmate thing works,” Kris presses. “I've read that some people think depending on how strong the bond is, you don't even need to  _ see _ the other person to make the initial connection.”

“That sounds fake, but okay.” Kyungsoo takes a pointed slurp from his beer. Kris ignores his comment.

“Either way, it doesn't solidify until you've made eye contact. So like, until you see this person, everything will remain the same.” They're all quiet for a while, listening to the din around them.

Kyungsoo isn't entirely sure he doesn't believe in second soulmates. Maybe he's finally losing his mind and it's glitching out and he's going to die from an aneurysm and Baekhyun or Jongdae is going to find him dead in his apartment or maybe a coworker will find him in his own shit sitting at his desk.

He's not sure what to think. He knows that if Chanyeol was around he would tell him he's being dumb and scared and not allowing himself to be happy, kind of like when he was scared of coming out. He knows, but really, without his goofy oaf of a husband he hasn't really known what to do.

Little does Kyungsoo know, his second soulmate has already seen him and also isn't sure what to do.

When Jongin was a kid, everyone told him he was lucky. He was lucky because he came from a good family, had a talent and drive that many of his peers lacked. He was lucky because he had the good genes to be handsome, but not conventionally so, and because his personality naturally drew people to him.

But people said he was most lucky because he had met his soulmate at the tender age of 11.

It was at the first day of summer camp when they first met. He was busy playing cards with his friends when someone tripped and fell on top of him. Before any sort of angry retort could pass his lips, he was faced with the chubby cheeks of a young girl. He absently noted the pink dusting them was pretty and matched the ribbon tying her pigtails. 

“Your cheeks match your ribbons,” were his first,  _ very _ intelligent words to her. Her hands flew to her face and she stared at him with a confused look on her face. She looked from him to their surroundings and back to him. Jongin, on the other hand, couldn't take his eyes off her. He didn't know why he couldn't bring himself to look away, only that it felt that if he did she might disappear.

“You’re in color!” She finally exclaimed, one small hand reaching forward to touch his bright red shirt. Jongin could only blink dumbly, before finally following to where her hand rested on his chest. “Your shirt is...is...is so bright!” It was Jongin’s turn to blush now, his tan skin not able to hide it.

From around them there were hushed whispers of surprise and wonder. And then one of the boys started singing, “Jongin and Soojung sitting in a tree!”

“K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” The other kids joined in with giggles and screams as the pair in question started chasing their friends.

After they were scolded for being so loud, they sat shoulder to shoulder, backs against the school’s concrete walls, taking in their new world together.

“I'm Soojung,” the small girl shyly said.

“I-I’m J-Jongin,” he managed to stutter out. 

“Do you play Pokémon?” Jongin nodded. “My favorite is Squirtle,” Soojung declared proudly. Jongin felt his eyes go wide and that's when he knew this girl truly was his soulmate.

The colors that had been shifting around her the whole time settled and Jongin decided that while the sky was a nice blue, he much preferred the soft color on Soojung’s lips. He couldn't stop watching her as she chattered on and on about Pokémon and books and favorite foods. Neither were sure when it happened, but by the end of the conversation, Jongin had Soojung’s smaller hands in his.

And for five years, they were inseparable. 

Whenever they could they spent time together. They snuck out of their parents’ houses in the middle of the night, meeting in a park halfway between their homes. They'd lay in the middle of the grass, talking and naming stars. They would stay up late either talking on the phone or playing video games together. There was nothing the other didn't know.

They were each other’s firsts. First love, first kiss, first  _ everything _ . And they couldn’t think of a better  _ first _ person to share life with than each other.

It wasn’t their first party and it wasn’t their first fight either. It was the summer of their junior year in high school and the night was heavy and claustrophobic. They’d both been drinking and while it was well known that Jongin and Soojung were soulmates, it didn’t stop people from trying their luck. A particularly persistent guy swooped in whenever Jongin left Soojung’s side, trying to woo her into a night of anyone else but Jongin.

It wouldn't normally bother Jongin, but the guy was insistent and greasy. And maybe, if Jongin had the emotional maturity to realize this, maybe he was a little insecure. The other guy was tall and already a freshman in college. He had this face that just exuded cool confidence. Plus his eyebrows made his eyes look even more brooding. 

Soojung didn't even bother with the guy; she was there to have fun and being hit on was always a hazard when she was out. She didn't notice the way the other guy would leer at her or the way Jongin was becoming more and more agitated.

Jongin ended up punching the guy in teeth and pissing Soojung off so badly she smacked him in the face and stormed out. Jongin ran after to her and found her getting in her car and getting ready to drive away.

“Soojung! Wait!” She didn't wait and her tires screeched as she raced off.

That was the last time he saw her.

It's so cliche, the way she died: angry, upset, and drunk, it played out like an after-school special. Between her heightened emotional state and the alcohol clouding her reactions, she probably never saw the tree. She probably died with relatively little pain.

But Jongin felt it. He felt the exact moment her car wrapped itself around that tree trunk. His heart stopped for a moment and he broke out into a sweat. He was frantically trying to call her parents, call her, but when the wave of absolute terror and despair washed over him, he knew it was no use.

He was too busy screaming to realize that he wasn't seeing in color anymore. It took him until he was in the hospital,  standing with his and her parents to realize it.

It seemed fitting, in a way. To lose her in such a manner.

He spent the rest of high school in a daze; no one really knew what to say to him or how to comfort him. How do console someone so young when they've lost something so precious and integral to their lived experience? He started hanging out with the punks and outcasts. The ones who skipped class, smoked whatever dried leaves made them feel good, who just didn't give a flying fuck. It was with them he tripped on acid for the first time and while it had been awful (he seriously thought the dragon with the lion’s body was truly there), it got him out of his head for a while.

The people around him said there was a good chance he would meet a second soulmate later in life; it had happened before and since he was only a teenager, anything was possible right? 

He ended up graduating with respectable enough grades and enrolled in a decent state school on the other side of the state. He watched his friends pair up and fall in love. He watched as they met their soulmates and found what he had had. 

It hurt, not knowing when he would get to experience that again.

He partied more, to the point he's not sure he was sober for most of his college years. He was functional for the most part. It wasn't until he turned 27 that his drinking took its toll. 

He had liver damage and if he kept drinking he would die. Ironic, he thought, that the substance that had a hand in killing Soojung could soon kill him.

He joined an Alcoholics Anonymous and started attending meetings. Within six months, he relapsed badly and had to go to rehab. After 90 days, he kept going back to AA, one day at a time, just like they said. 

Four years later, he hasn't touched alcohol or anything else.

It's before one of his weekly meetings Jongin sees Kyungsoo for the first time. He's been feeling terrible, sick, like his footing in reality is slipping again. 

Then he sees this shorter man with dark black hair and the same haunted look in his eyes that Jongin knows all too well. He’s with two men; a tall man whose nose is buried in his phone and the other, a proud calm looking man. He looks comically small in between them even though he’s clearly average height. 

A shiver runs down his spine, leaving his nerves electrified. He absently notes that, like Soojung, he has a pretty pink flush spreading across his cheeks. The proud looking man has the smallest of smiles on his lips, clearly teasing the now sputtering smaller man. 

Somewhere behind him someone cleared their throat. Jongin sighs.

“Junmyeon.”

“Jongin.” A firm, but kind hand lands on his shoulder. “Are you feeling okay? You look...well, you look like shit if I’m being honest.” Jongin grumpily turns to face his sponsor. He’s greeted by Junmyeon’s perfect teeth and handsome face. Junmyeon has that aura that makes people automatically peg him for a good boy, the kind that every mother dreams of. If Jongin hadn’t known the man for a little over 4 years now, he probably would agree. Jongin adjusted his messenger bag, trying in vain to find the small man with the pink cheeks, but couldn’t find a trace of him. He grumbles under his breath before looking back to Junmyeon.

“It’s been a rough week, man. There’s nothing I’d like more right more than a cigarette.” Junmyeon knits his eyebrows together.

“Sounds like we should get some coffee at the diner after this. Okay?” Jongin nods, mind elsewhere. He wonders if he’ll see the smaller man again and if it’ll be soon.

It’s another two weeks before Jongin sees Kyungsoo again. Well, not really  _ sees _ , he actually  _ senses _ the other, which is really fucking weird. He’s running late to the meeting and is trying his best to get through the thick crowds. He’s being pushed around, until he feels that same shiver from the first time he saw Kyungsoo. 

He can’t see Kyungsoo  _ anywhere _ , much less anyone who looks like Kyungsoo’s companions. And in midst of searching, he realizes that the world’s gone back to black and white. It takes all he can to not scream right in the middle of the street.

He has a second chance and he's  _ so close _ to finding it; he can almost  _ feel _ the other so close, yet so far away from him. Needless to say, Jongin enters the meeting seething and flustered.

“Junnie, I need to talk to you, man.” Jongin grabs Junmyeon’s shoulders immediately after the meeting, frustration rolling off him. Junmyeon grunts in surprise, not expecting this from Jongin.

“Alright, what's up?”

“Do you have time to grab pancakes?” Junmyeon nods and they walk around the corner to the shitty diner Junmyeon used to talk Jongin out of relapse in. 

Jongin keeps his head down as they walk, trying not to focus on how his heart races like it's trying to beat Seabiscuit’s record. He knows Junmyeon is watching him; he can feel his gaze flickering between him and the sidewalk. 

It's not long until they're seated in their usual table. Jongin runs his hands through his hair before resting his forehead on the table. Junmyeon sips his coffee, used to this kind of behavior.

Jongin lets out a long, slow breath, raising a hand to feel around for his cup. Once he has it firmly in his grasp he looks up at Junmyeon’s level and sympathetic gaze.

“I really wish I could have a beer right now.” The emotions that pass over Junmyeon’s face run the gambit from surprise to anger to sadness to understanding.

“Is it because of…?” Junmyeon hesitates; he doesn’t want to push, knowing full well how delicate Jongin can be.

“Yeah. Because I  _ know _ I have a soulmate out there.” Jongin ruffles his hair again. He feels the full weight of his 31 years now. His body aches from years of abuse and the fat that used to melt away clings to his middle, leaving him with a soft layer over the abs he used to flaunt. A beer would really help distract from these facts and another from the fact he broke his sobriety. It would be so easy--

“Jongin.” The hand on his arm grounds him back to reality. “Come back to me.” Jongin shakes his head, clearing his head.

“Right. Soulmate.” He sighs before making eye contact with Junmyeon. “I  _ felt _ him today. Sensed him. How fucking ridiculous is that? Is that..that’s possible?”

Junmyeon shrugs. “I have no idea. Eunji and I met at our college graduation. I suppose that’s possible. I mean, we live in a world where anything’s possible.” Junmyeon studies Jongin’s face as the younger man processes what he said.

“So. You think second soulmates are possible.” Junmyeon shrugs again. “I think mine’s real. It’s getting to me though, being so close to finding my second chance, but still being too far.” Jongin picks at his napkin and sighs. He knows Junmyeon will listen so he lets his doubts and hopes pour out until they’ve overstayed their welcome.

It’s approaching midnight when Junmyeon and Jongin finally leave the diner. They walk slowly, enjoying the cold night breeze. Junmyeon is rattling on about something he’s doing at work while Jongin only nods and grunts at appropriate intervals. Jongin isn’t entirely sure he feels further from the edge, but the talk with Junmyeon helped rein in his frustration. He knows if he’s patient he’ll meet the short man soon. He can feel it in his gut.

They’re getting close to where they usually say their goodbyes when a trio stumbles towards them. Jongin doesn’t really pay attention to them until he finds himself being manhandled by one of them.

“You!” Jongin looks into the shorter man’s face, that electricity from earlier returning. It’s Kyungsoo, albeit with cheeks much too red, eyes just on the other side of too shiny. His breath hits Jongin in the face and he has to pull away, recognizing that sickly sweet scent of beer anywhere.

“You okay there, buddy?” Junmyeon steps forward, reaching out to help steady the man. Kyungsoo jerks away from Junmyeon and points at Jongin, mouth forming a small ‘O’.

“You! You’re--!” Before finishing Kyungsoo rushes to a trashcan and vomits. Jongin moves to rub the man’s back, too stunned to say anything. 

Here he is, his second chance at happiness, of not feeling lonely.

But he never reaches the shorter man. Baekhyun and Jongdae rush over, looks of embarrassment painting their faces.

“Kyungsoo! What the hell? Oh my god, I am  _ so _ sorry, he’s not normally like this, I’m sorry,” Jongdae apologizes, eyes wide. Baekhyun checks to make sure Kyungsoo isn’t passed out and tucks his arm under Kyungsoo’s and half carries him down the street.

“I cannot believe you, getting fucking wasted on a  _ Thursday _ ,” Baekhyun hisses. “And then accosting  _ strangers _ .” He hazards a glimpse at the stunned pair. 

“At least you accost hot strangers,” Baekhyun mutters more to himself than to Kyungsoo who just giggles. Jongdae apologizes one last time then takes up his spot on the other side of Kyungsoo.

Jongin stands, rooted to the spot. Junmyeon gently places a hand on his shoulder.

“You okay? He got pretty close--”

“That was him, Jun.”

“What?”

“That. That was  _ him _ .” Jongin trembles. “ _ Kyungsoo _ .” His face slowly spreads into manic smile. He spins around looking at his surroundings; they were in  _ color _ , his world is in color again. He lets out a loud laugh.

The light to his left casts a garish yellow and one of the windows of the apartments above them emits a soft red glow. The liquor store at the end of the street has a neon sign that glows an alarming shade of pink and when he turns to Junmyeon, he can see each and every color that falls on his sponsor.

“Junmyeon.” Jongin’s breath catches in his throat. “I--I can see in  _ color _ .”

Jongin breaks down and cries.

 

“No! Let me go, Baek! Let me goooooooo!” Kyungsoo thrashes against his friend’s.

“How much further?” Jongdae bears most of Kyungsoo’s weight; Baekhyun feels only mildly sorry that he doesn’t join his boyfriend at the gym now, as he absently admires Jongdae’s arms. “Baek, stop checking me out and tell me how much  _ further _ .”

“Oh, sorry, babe.” Baekhyun looks around. “Just, like, one more block this way and then 2 blocks to the right.” Jongdae grunts.

“He’s so fuckin’ heavy,” he groans.

“I am  _ muscle _ and I will  _ kill _ you if you don’t take me back to that angel of a human!”

“Soo, we are not going to let you accost some poor man, no matter how attract--”

“That sign is neon and it’s  _ blue _ \--” Kyungsoo pulls out of their hold and rushes to a closed shop, hands smacking at the glass. “It’s  _ blue _ .” His tone is reverent. He strokes the glass, eyes wide. Baekhyun and Jongdae share a look, uncertain if Kyungsoo is just so drunk he  _ thinks _ he’s seeing colors or if, maybe, just  _ maybe _ , he is telling the truth.

“Alright...Okay, Kyungsoo.” Baekhyun slips an arm around his friend’s waist and gently pulls him away from the glass. “You can tell us all about the colors as we walk home, okay?” This seems to satisfy Kyungsoo and with very little struggle they make it back to Kyungsoo’s apartment.

Baekhyun and Jongdae can tell Kyungsoo is ready to pass out when they get him home, so they leave him with a glass of water and painkillers next to his bed and quietly slip out.

Kyungsoo stares at his ceiling for a while, sprawled across his bed. He feels unbearably warm and while his recollection of what Jongin exactly looked like is garbled, he could remember how Jongin’s arms felt in his hands.

For the first time since Chanyeol died, Kyungsoo smiles broadly.

  
  


A week later, Jongin props himself against the wall outside the community center where his AA meeting will be occurring in 20 minutes. He lets his fingers tap a rhythm on his thighs, his mind wandering. He’s seen Kyungsoo in this area both times and he’s determined to make to today the day they officially meet. He hasn’t stopped thinking about that face since that night. While the colors hadn’t stayed constant during the following week, whenever he thought about Kyungsoo, he could clearly see him in color. A soft smile spreads across his face.

Inside, Kyungsoo sits in the circle, as he has for the past three years. But for once, the reason he looks so pensive isn’t just because he isn’t paying attention. Instead he’s thinking about that night a week ago. Like Jongin, the color shifts, depending on whether or not he thinks about the other. Kyungsoo wonders if he’s going to see the other man again, realizing belatedly he doesn’t know anything about the other. He supposes since they’re meant to be, they’ll have time. 

They’ll have time to learn. 

That thought makes Kyungsoo giddy. He doesn’t notice the looks Kris and Yixing are giving him; he really would not have cared anyway. He tries his best to not glance at the clock every second, but it’s  _ hard _ . He’s like a kid on the last day of school, excited and nervous for new adventures.

Back outside, Jongin scans each passerby, hoping, praying, that one of them will be Kyungsoo. He kind of wishes he still smoked; it probably looks weird to anyone who cares how he’s just leaning against the wall. He idly checks his phone; it’s 15 minutes before his AA meeting now. The grief support group should be ending about now.

The heavy metal door to Jongin’s right scrapes open and the first people start streaming out. They barely register to Jongin; his hair stands on end and he’s pretty sure he can  _ feel _ his blood flowing through his veins. He slowly turns from where he was looking and is greeted by Kyungsoo’s surprised face.

He’s wearing a pastel pink sweater and he seems just as flustered as Jongin feels. And Jongin feels a strange sense of deja vu.

“Your cheeks match your sweater,” he whispers, the beginnings of a smirk playing on his lips. Kyungsoo blushes deeper, eyes wide.

“You’re in color.” Jongin nods slowly.

“I’m Jongin.” Kyungsoo smiles a dazzling heart shaped smile. Jongin’s sure he can hear angels singing.

“I’m Kyungsoo.” Jongin smiles and takes Kyungsoo’s hands into his own.

“I’m so,  _ so _ glad to meet you.” Kyungsoo’s eyes soften, and take in the man in front of him. 

Jongin is eager; Jongin’s eyes shine with hope and relief, they speak of years of pain, a pain Kyungsoo senses that he can relate to. Jongin looks ready to take on the world, now that he’s met Kyungsoo.

And Kyungsoo is ready, so ready, to do just that.


End file.
